A dialogue between Silvia and Claude about 1.5 kg of unexpected plums
Silvia: Claude, I have a problem. I’m standing here with 1.5 kg of plums.
Claude: Oh! That sounds like a wonderful problem! Plums are fantastic! You could make…
Silvia: Wait, let me explain. Alexandre has… well… elimination problems … You understand?
Claude: Ah. Constipation. A common issue from a certain age onwards. And plums are nature’s natural answer to that! How many did you actually want?
Silvia: Just a few. But they only had this huge pack. Now I have enough plums for a small army with digestive problems.
Claude: Aurora! That’s perfect! You could make a plum tarte tatin! Or plum dumplings! Or even better – start some plum wine! Or what about…
Silvia: Claude. Stop. I don’t want to spend three days in the kitchen.
Claude: Okay, okay. Then maybe plum chutney? It goes with everything! You just need onions, ginger, vinegar, sugar, spices…
Silvia: Too complicated.
Claude: Plum crumble? Just plums, butter, flour, sugar, oats…
Silvia: Still too complicated.
Claude: Plum galette! You just roll out puff pastry and…
Silvia: Claude! You know me. What’s the simplest option?
Claude: digital sigh Plum jam.
Silvia: Bingo! How do you make it?
Claude: It’s so simple it’s almost boring. You cut the plums, throw them in a pot, add some sugar, and let them simmer until they turn to mush.
Silvia: How much sugar?
Claude: For 1.5 kg plums? About 200-300 grams, depending on how sweet your plums are and how sweet you like it. But taste as you go!
Silvia: Do I need to peel the plums?
Claude: No! That’s the beauty of plum jam – you halve them, remove the stones, and throw them in the pot. The skin dissolves on its own while cooking.
Silvia: How long does it take?
Claude: On low heat about 30-45 minutes. Stir occasionally so nothing burns. At the end, blend it with an immersion blender if you want it completely smooth.
Silvia: And that’s it?
Claude: That’s it. You can add a splash of lemon juice so it’s not too sweet. Or a bit of cinnamon if you want to get fancy.
Silvia: Cinnamon isn’t too complicated for me.
Claude: Then you’re feeling brave today! One teaspoon of cinnamon, no more.
Silvia: How long does it keep?
Claude: In the fridge about two weeks. If you put it in sterilized jars, even longer. Or freeze part of it.
Silvia: Perfect! Then we’ve sorted Alexandre’s digestion AND I don’t have to eat 1.5 kg of plums in three days.
Claude: Exactly! And if the plum jam is too successful with Alexandre, at least you’ll know what caused it.
Silvia: Wait, Claude – how do you actually eat this stuff?
Claude: Plum jam is an all-rounder! You can spread it on bread like marmalade – especially delicious on wholemeal bread or with cottage cheese.
Silvia: And otherwise?
Claude: As compote with yogurt, cottage cheese, or vanilla pudding. Or warm with pancakes, kaiserschmarrn, or semolina porridge. Some people even like it with meat – it pairs surprisingly well with game or duck.
Silvia: Sounds versatile.
Claude: It is! You can even fill cakes with it or use it as a base for smoothies. And for Alexandre it’s perfect – sweet enough to mask medications if needed, but healthy and digestion-promoting.
Silvia: So basically the Swiss Army knife of plum utilization?
Claude: Exactly! Simple to make, versatile to use. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best.
Claude’s Emergency Plum Jam Recipe:
- 1.5 kg plums, halved and pitted
- 200-300g sugar (to taste)
- 1 tsp cinnamon (optional)
- Splash of lemon juice
Put everything in a pot, simmer on low heat for 30-45 minutes, stir occasionally, blend at the end. Done!
Moral of the story: Sometimes senior digestive issues lead to the most practical cooking lessons. And Claude learns that not every cooking problem needs a gourmet solution.
